But first, some miscellany!

Morbid comics from ManEggs!

And… Some Gremlin goodness from Designkins (via DesignYouTrust). I’m aware of the fact that I don’t wear caps. But hey, I also own a Hello Kitty Toaster. SO! FUCKYEAHUSELESSSHITBITS.

AND ONWARD!

Which word in the dictionary is most tainted with adolescent shame? Hand’s down, no-doubt, it’s goth.

Anyone outside of the cult of moody knows the goth look is designed to fug everyone. Statistically, chances that any given person looks good with pale face paint, greasy blue hair and a pin-cushion face is next to none. But don’t be harsh, it’s surprisingly hard to resist when you’re an angry tween. I wallow in shame every time I recall all the (now destroyed) evidence of my time as a confused clubbing gothchild.

But strangely, things like Tamagotchi and pokémon die, but Goth RAGES ON! Look, Disney’s finally declaring the moody-moody-slash-wrist market mainstream. Wall Street Journal declares: “Walt Disney Co.’s consumer-products division is aiming its marketing firepower at young women and teenage girls, particularly those who gravitate to darkly romantic entertainment like the Twilight series.”

” [Disney's] zeroing in on Hot Topic with jewelry, shirts, and other baubles while a Los Angeles location is becoming a miniature Wonderland. There will be a mingle-with-the-stars event for fans, and “goth-pop” bands from the soundtrack will provide the tuneage.” (via Cinematical.)

Sure, Disney’s investment in black lipstick isn’t anything new. They’ve always has Burton in their stable, but now, with the King of dark-cute leading the march with Alice in Wonderland, Mickey’s household’s gonna see some changes.

Just a couple of weeks ago, a cute chinese teen girl with a little Avenge Sevenfold backpack showed up at my home (family friends visiting from Sydney) and asked me if I knew where to buy Slipknot tees in Singapore. Man. After much ethical debate on my part, we skipped to Far East Plaza to complete the mission. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt as I let her purchase those horrid, unflattering black t-shirts. How did I ever wear these baggy shirts with tacky band logos emblazoned across both the front and back for maximum fug? But ah, well, she was full of glee and I wasn’t about to rain on her little black parade.

If I could tell her one thing, it’d be that the worst of skank is more forgiving than a goth FAIL, plus you get laid more.

Recently, Amanda has tried to convince me to purchase a fanny pack on her behalf.  This has traumatized me deeply. Now, I am a fan of American Apparel, but some how something about a pleathery shapeless sac sitting on a hip just does not agree with my system. Let’s not even consider the large plastic clip.

Nonetheless, I attempted to comprehend my friend.

Amanda quoted two key scenarios where one might want to hang a hideous plastic bag (see illustration, right) around one’s waist:

1. Clubbing

2. Gaffering

While I must agree that it would be handy to free one’s hands of credit cards, keys, phones, gaffer tape, pegs, sharpies and such when on a film set or when getting wasted, I cannot agree that it should come at an expense such as this.

I continued to mull over this for a couple of days. Perhaps it was the stress of work and the effects of chronic alcoholism that was getting to her? Was an intervention necessary? Should I consider that this is after all, the festive season, and just acquire the offending fannypack for her? Should the intervention then be staged in January instead?

What if I should run into her one evening at Butter, with that unfortunate flap of fabric around her fanny? What outfit will her unsound mind decide to pair it with?

Ethical dilemma ensued.

Then I changed my approach. Perhaps, I thought as I stared helplessly at the American Apparel site, perhaps she meant a different color? I clicked “Storm Purple” and “Medium Evergreen”. No. By then, TrashBlack looked acceptable.

The page suggested I see the “Shiny Version“, and I was open to any other alternative.

I was greeted by an image of a classically American Apparel model (chic female of the imperfectly perfect, taut variety) in a typically American Apparel frock (skin-tight, barely viable). The shiny bag suddenly seemed logical.

How else does one expect to carry one’s miscellaneous shitbits whilst one gallivants around town? It was so obvious, it seemed offensive to question it. Did one expect that dress to come with pockets? Tsk! Surely not.

Perhaps, considering my track record of 3-cellphones-lost per-annum, I could use one… no, I ought to! Wait! I am in filmmaking too! Think of all the gaffer tape this shiny baby can handle!

The hands-free practicality is outstanding! American Apparel does it yet again! Everyone’s getting fannypacks from me this Christmas.